School’s out for summer, School’s out forever. 

School’s been blown to piece, Alice Cooper / Michel Bruce.

Alice Cooper’s memorable song was surely one of the youth anthems of year twelve students in the late eighties.  In those days schoolies was relatively young.  It started in Queensland in the later part of the seventies and was mostly a celebration by the single sex schools.  In time, it took hold in other states and became a pilgrimage for huge numbers of Year 12’s from other states.

For parents, the pilgrimage became a time of some anxiety and trepidation.  Especially for the parents of boys.  The reality is that boys in groups tend to take more risks.  This is generally because of the need for boys to compete with their peers in order to get recognitions (status).  Unfortunately male culture is steeped in this.

But the picture is not as grim as the media often makes it look.  It is, however, enough to contribute to the natural concerns any parent has when their young son heads off on a trip that is frequently portrayed as an all out brawl fuelled by alcohol and drugs.  And, yes there have been incidences over the years that were exactly that, but they were and are not the rule.

What is important that this is a time to have a meaningful conversation, not a lecture, with your school leaver about managing risks to be safe while they are travelling and while they are at the various venues.  That conversation needs to cover some basics, some of which should already be in place, like who they are going with, where they are staying and their general plan.  As a parent it is important, to keep in mind that they are going to stretch their wings and not exactly stick to ‘the plan’.

Here are some sort pointers to include in your conversation.

  1. Organise a time to catch up while they are away.  Ideally this is daily at a regular time, usually afternoon is best they are going to be up late so most of them will sleep in.  Also text is fine.  It doesn’t always need to be a voice call.
  2.  Have them think about what they will do if they lose stuff, especially money.
  3. Stress that back plans are important.  Get them to think about having a ‘Plan b’ like arranging where to meet when they get separated from friends.  Best thing is to get them to think about meeting back at where they are staying.
  4. Organise a list of contact names, venues and phone numbers and make sure everyone has the list.
  5. Talk about what to do if they have a falling out with a friend whilst away.  Get them to come up with a plan about that and if they cant suggest that the firs step is to call home.
  6. Last but not least is a conversation about sex, alcohol and drugs.  This is probably the one area you’ll get most of the resistance but it is important.  With sex there are three areas that are important to talk about.  Safe sex, that sex is consensual and that the pill protects against pregnancy but not STD’s.

The other area is that alcohol can be fun but that it can also be poisonous in large quantities, especially if they are not used to drinking.  Another issue with alcohol is that certain medications are not good with alcohol and that some drugs and alcohol together make for a toxic combination.

Finally get them to be aware of spiked drinks.  Talk about not accepting drinks from a stranger, getting their own drinks from bars and outlets and not leaving them unattended.